Collector's Item
by CrazyFangurl8
Summary: A few drabbles, usually inspired by song, that I wrote. I hope you enjoy them, as some are meant to be quite hilarious XD
1. Dontchya

Drabble- Dontcha?

Oh, how entertaining. Ed was drunk. It was to be expected, in a large house filled with people and alcohol. Since Pinako was out of town on a house call for an auto-mail replacement, Winry had invited Ed and Al over to keep her company, which in turn got a suspicous Roy invited, who invited Riza to tag along, and Sheska was asked to tag along with Riza. Al, of course, asked Rose, Russel and Fletcher to stop by, infuriating Edward. Since Ed now shared an apartment with the homunculi Envy, he decided to follow, bringing Lust and Greed with him. Greed decided to drag in Kimbley and a couple of his girls from the Devil's Nest. Ling Yao, being the seasoned stalker he is, found out about the party and decided to show up on impulse. Oh, how entertaining this was going to be.  
"Who are all of these people?!" Winry shouted as she observed the crowd from her doorway.  
"heheh, just a few friends!" Ed answered nervously, hoping she didn't have a wrench nearby. He was quickly answered by a devilish look that told him, 'You better get these people away from my house before I count to five' As she advanced on him, Al quickly intervened.  
"W-Winry! Brother and I didn't know all these people would come, have some mercy! Besides.. they came all this way.. We can't just kick em out now. Imagine how much fun it'll be, too!" Winry looked behind Ed and Al at the large crowd of people, and back at the two brothers.  
"Oh, fine. But YOU'RE the ones responsible for the mess!!" She warned, and turned back to the living room. The two boys cheered, and waved in the rest of the crowd.  
It didn't take long for the crowd to get comfortable in the large Rockbell house. In practically no time at all, the stereo had been turned up, the floor had been cleared, and the alcohol came out. Greed (being the one who brought all the alcohol) had opened a mini-bar in the kitchen, whilst his girls were busy dancing on the floor with Envy. Much to everyone's surprise, Envy was a very good--and dirty-- dancer. Kimbley had moved in on Lust, who seemed to be enjoying the alchemist's company a little too much. Russel was busy attempting to impress Winry with several made-up stories about mechanics. Al found himself dragged outside to the gardens by Fletcher, hesitant to leave Ed with Russell. Rose was talking with Riza and Sheska, and Ling was perched stalkerish-ly on the banner at the top of the stairs. Nothing seemed out of control.. yet.  
"Hey, Ed!" Russell called to Ed as he passed by.  
"Hey.." Ed said uncomfortably, standing next to Russell and Winry.  
"Ed! Russell was just telling me about how he fixed your arm when you broke it fighting Mugear! Looks like I'm not the only one for you to run to for maintenance anymore, haha!" Winry chimed.  
"What?! Russell neber fixed my arm! He doesn't even know anything about mechanics!!" Ed fumed.  
"Edward, don't be so modest!" Russell joked. "It's okay to admit you got help from someone younger than you"  
"Huh?" Winry blurted, looking from to Russell and back, comparing sizes. Then she crouched and whispered in Ed's ear, "He's younger? Are you sure?" Ed snapped.  
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULD WRESTLE AN ANT AND LOSE?!" He shouted furiously.  
"Ed, settle down. You'll break your arm again flailing it around like that, then me and Winry would have to fight over who gets to fix it." Russell said, looking at Winry seductivly. "Of course, I'd have to let her win.. I can't wait to see her at work." She gave out a dreamy sigh as Ed stalked away, fuming.  
He took a seat grudgingly at the bar where Greed was mixing a martini and slouched on the counter.  
"What's the matter, kid?" Greed asked, taking a tip from Roy as he returned to the crowd with his martini. Ed looked up, hoping his glare would burn holes in Greed's head. It didn't work.  
"Whaddo you care?" he muttered, burying his chin in his crossed arms on the bar.  
"Well, maybe I can help." he offered, leaning on the bar and looking at Ed. "What's on your mind"  
Ed only looked up at him irritably, again wishing a little stronger that he had lazer vision.  
"Ah, well," Greed sighed, pulling a small glass and a bottle of clear drink from the cabinet, "Least I can do is help you drown it out." He poured in a half-glass of cola and filled the rest with the cheap vodka. He handed the mixture to the sulking blond, who took it gratefully, and had it down in one gulp.  
"More." was all he said, holding the glass out and feeling the warm burn in his throat dissipate quickly.

"And so, the real reason it wouldn't start was because the crank shaft was jammed, like I tried to tell everyone.." Winry sighed, leaning against the wall and sipping her drink. Russell's story had long since bored her to the point of aggravation, but any sign she tried to give him that she really didn't care to hear of the elementary mechanics of his neighbor's car had fell on deaf ears.  
Suddenly, a loud cheer from the crowd around the dancefloor made them both look up. A wall of people blocked their view, but whoever was dancing was raising quite a lot of noise amongst the onlookers. Then she noticed the song blaring over the stereo:  
"When I come to the club, step aside (oh snap)  
Part the seats, don't be havin me in line (oh snap!) V.I.P. cause you know I gotta shine (oh snap!) I'm Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time (oh snap"  
"Oh, snap." Winry echoed, pushing her way through the crowd to view the dance floor.  
"All my girls get down on the flow, back-to-back drop it down real loww"  
"I'm such a lady but I'm dancin like a ho, you know what I don't give a so here we go"  
Envy and Ed were on the dancefloor, back to back and doing something..well... something that shouldn't be done around Alphonse or Fletcher. Ed had stripped off his red overcoat, which Envy seemed to enjoy very much as Ed was wearing a rather tight pair of jeans and his black wifebeater. Then Winry realized: Ed was drunk.  
"How come every time you come around, my London-london bridge wanna go down like London-london-london wanna go down like London-london-london be goin down like, How come every time you come around.." Winry facepalmed, blushing furiously as the two sang along as they danced very dirty-like.  
As the chorus continued, Envy turned so he was facing Ed's back and they continued dancing, very closely. From the looks on their faces, Envy enjoyed Ed being drunk, and either Ed enjoyed being drunk or he enjoyed Envy enjoying him being drunk. (probably both). Envy rocked his hips and ran his hands up Ed's sides as Ed rocked his ass against Envy's thighs. What a scene.  
When Envy reached for the button on Ed's pants, Winry decided she'd seen enough. She stormed out on the dance floor, much to the crowd's dismay, and grabbed them both by the arms, glaring at Ed in particular.  
"YOU..ARE SOOO... IN FOR IT." Very roughly, she yanked them both off the dancefloor and up the stairs to the privacy of the hall.  
"Wh..Winryyy," Ed whined. "We were tryin to dance!!" He pulled his arm away drunkenly and glared at her.  
"Yea, Rockbell-saan!" Envy added. HE obviously wasn't drunk.  
"ED! WHAT are you THINKING!! I'm pretty sure Envy's a GUY, you know that, right"  
"Of course I'm a guy!!" Envy shouted, offended. Winry shot an evil look at him.  
"Then take off that stupid mini-skirt!!" she retorted, immediately regretting the statement.  
"If you insist, Rockbell-san.." He stuck his thumbs under the waist of his skirt and gave a downward tug-  
"NO!! I didn't mean NOW!!" Winry yanked his hands back, blushing furiously. "Just... just..!! ARGH, I don't even know what to say!" She grasped fistfulls of her long hair in her exasperation, much to Envy's entertainment.  
"You could say, 'Hey Envy, why don't you take Ed in one of these spare rooms and teach him to screw around with a homunculus'" he smirked.  
As Winry was about to make another angry remark, Ed suddenly fell to the floor, snorring loudly.  
"What the"  
"Don't worry, Rockbell-san, he's just passed out from being drunk. I can take care of him"  
"What?! No!" CLUNK. Envy somehow aquired a frying pan and managed to whack her over the head with it, succesfully knocking her out.  
"So annoying, sheesh!" he complained, picking Ed up and throwing him over his shoulder. "Now, for this one...heehee." He kicked open a nearby bedroom door and locked it behind him, smirking evilly... 


	2. Pain Gives Way to Pleasure

Pain gives way to Pleasure

The dark alley that sat between the Century Shoppe of Antiquities and Lee Zalon's Bakery appeared, for the most part, empty. There was a small dumpster on one side under a fire escape, doubtless serving dinner to a few scavengers now, and some large wooden crates stacked at the end of the alley. The alley, however empty it seemed, was not. As a matter of fact, more often than not, at these times of night it was normally anything but unoccupied. Only those few nights of the week when Edward decided he was too tired to make the long walk to the alley did it remain empty, And even on those nights it was only completely unoccupied after the homunculus Envy, awaiting Edward's arrival, decided that Edward was not going to show for the night and left.

Tonight, Envy waited, crouching atop one of the wooden crates and peering through the fog. Ed was likely to come tonight, as he'd stayed home the previous night to rest. The poor boy never got any sleep. He was always either studying or with Envy, one or the other. The State Alchemist Asessments were nearing and Ed was struggling for something worth passing, he knew this. Yet every night, he waited for him to come, unable to resist. Before long, a silhoutte approached him through the fog, nearing to appear a red coat and long, blond bangs. Envy smiled at his lover, standing and walking over to him and stroking the side of his face lovingly. Ed tried not to smile, but didn't pull away. Envy smirked as he knew Ed was trying not to smile. He'd been like that from the beginning.

As an element of trickery, Envy had whispered a few intimate words in Edward's ear once during a fight. They continued the fight, a defeat for Ed, but he didn't forget the words. His ear itched when he remembered them, and he found himself repeating them in his mind at night when hey lay awake in bed. The next fight, Envy had done it again, and again, Ed itched to hear the words. And so it continued until when Envy whispered to Ed, he lifted his chin to look in his eyes and kissed him. And so was born the two lovers.

Ed found it painful the first few times, however intimate Envy could make it seem, it still hurt to some extent. However, in time, Pain gave way to Pleasure, and the intimacy between them now would have beem unfathomable to Ed before. Envy was truly a sex god with the way he handled Ed, always trying to protect his innocence, yet stealing it away each night over his body. He admittedly had been deliberately rougher those first few times when Ed found it painful, but now, he was gentle. Gentle and luxurious and fine and soft, Ed thought to himself, that was how it felt under Envy's body, like a huge, soft bed. And so, despite his pride, he returned each night he found the energy, itching to be back in Envy's cool touch.

Presently, they both made their way up the fire escape to the second story of the Shoppe of Antiquities, where they would each night explore each other's bodies. They made no effort to quiet their steps as they traveled down the hall to the spare room, for the owner that stayed on the first floor was deaf, and had no family. As they entered the room, Ed stood in the center of the room. There was a four-poster bed, a nightstand, dresser, and a small desk near the window. The room did not appear old or unused, although it was old, it was often used. Envy approached Ed from behind and ran a hand over his shoulder, whispering in his ear.

"I missed you last night, Edward. Did you sleep well?"

"Yea," he replied, "It was nice." he added, smirking.

Envy gave a small laugh. "Nice to be away from me, is that it? You ain't seen nothin yet.." he grabbed his hands and pulled him hard over to the bed, pushing him over onto it. Positioning himself over him on the bed, he began to kiss him lightly, kissing first his top lip, then his bottom. Ed was not at all surprised at Envy's erratic behavior. He pulled his gloves off and tossed them aside, gently sliding his hands over the homunculi's chest and the back of his neck. Slowly, Envy slipped off Ed's coat and shirt, and now slid his hand to the button of his pants. His eyes had grown cloudy, starry, gazing into Envy's face.

Envy could only think to himself how he hated that the alchemist loved him so, though he knew not why. Despite his feelings contradicting his actions, he proceeded to slide the alchemist's pants down his legs and off, tossing them carelessly aside and gazing into Ed's golden eyes. He hated that he couldn't resist Edward, how he could steal his innocence away each night, even if so with second thoughts. All he could do was make sure he was gentle and soft on Ed, and to make sure Ed did not find it displeasing. He could only pray that each night under him, Ed was satisfying his lust for Envy and not paining himself with it, as Pain gave way to Pleasure, and Envy stole his innocence again. 


	3. Sound the Bugle

Sound the Bugle; You're a Soldier.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Winry whispered, standing in the doorway of her house. But the blond only told her good-bye and left, trudging through the rain, already late. Winry tried hard not to fall to her knees; it already took most of her strength not to cry.

Ed had been waiting for so long, years even, to say these words. Now was the moment, now was the time. He couldn't hesitate any longer.  
He knocked on the door, clenching the small black box in his pocket.  
"Ed?" Winry answered the door. "What a surprise! I have good news!" She smiled and gestured him in, closing the door behind him. She looked beautiful: Her golden hair was up in the back, and strands fell on either side of her face where her ocean blue eyes sparkled.  
"Winry, look I"  
"Guess what"  
"Um, what"  
From a door behind her, Russell Tringham appeared. Ed looked puzzled; he knew Russell had been friends with Winry, and he'd been there to comfort her when her granny died, but he thought he'd left by now.  
"Russell and I are getting married"  
Time was still. Russell wrapped his arms around Winry from behind, and the girl beamed with ecstasy. Ed couldn't take it in.  
"Oh. I.. uh... That's great"  
"Sorry I cut you off. What were you going to say"  
"It's nothing.. I'm happy for you guys. That's great, really. Married. hm"

It was two weeks later. Ed approached Winry in her doorway, rain soaking him through.  
"Ed! Are you crazy? Get inside before you catch a cold!" the blond girl cried, hugging her robe tight around her body.  
"I can't, I have to go. I just wanted to give you something"  
"Where are you going in this weather"  
"The military needs me in the war. They wanted me fighting on the front line. We're being deported tomorrow"  
"What?! Ed! But-- I thought the war was over! And... you can't go! Oh, Edward!" she wrapped her arms around him, despite him being soaking wet, and held him tightly. "This is terrible, Ed.." She supressed her tears as Ed continued talking.  
"I wanted to give you something." He repeated, reaching into his pocket. Winry retracted, wiping her eyes.  
"What is it"  
He held out the box he'd intended to give her two weeks ago and put it in her hand.  
"Two weeks ago, I wanted to give this to you. But I'm sure Russell is much better for you than I am"  
Winry gave him a puzzled look and opened the box, gasping when she saw it: a beautiful diamond ring, sitting on a sparkling silver band, and the words "Be Mine, Forever" in a note stuck in the top of the box.  
"Ed, this is..." She could only remember how long they'd struggled romantically, and how she'd always ached for him to ask her to be his. Once he returned from the other side of the gate, she thought it was a miracle, and they might finally be together. So she waited, and waited for Ed to finally ask. But the question never came. She exploded in outrage, heartbroken, and cried when he explained that he never knew she even took an interest in him as more than a friend. "This wasn't supposed to happen"  
"I'll be late for my train. Goodbye, Winry. Good luck with the wedding"  
And he left, trudging through the rain, down the long dirt driveway.

2 months later

To: Edward Elric Region II - Camp 3 From: Winry Rockbell 273 Timber ln. Resembool May 12

Dear Ed,  
I hope you're doing well. I know the war must be taking its toll on you. Just try not to bang up your autmail too bad )  
We all miss you here in Resembool. Most of all me, I think. The wedding is only a few weeks away and I can only think of you. I keep the ring you gave me under my pillow. A few times I've tried it on, trying to imagine how things would be if you were the one sleeping quietly in my bed, while I write this letter in the dark, instead of Russell.  
I miss you so much, Edward.  
I hope one day you'll forgive my impatience. For the longest time I wanted only to be with you-- but I gave up. I was sick of waiting. Now I know I'd wait a million years for you if it just meant you'd make it home safely.  
Please be careful.  
Write back soon.  
Love, Winry.

To: Winry Rockbell 273 Timber ln. Resembool From: Edward Elric Region II - Camp 3 May 17

Dear Winry,  
The war is tough, but I'm still alive. It has to count for something. )  
I couldn't put in words how much I want to be home again. I can't wait till we're deported back to Amestris and I can sleep in my own bed without being woken in the night by roadside bombings, and I can eat one of your homecooked dinners, but most of all, see your face again. I miss you so much, Winry. I'm glad you like the ring. Just make sure Russell doesn't find it. I'm afraid he'd be angry with me.  
You don't have to ask my forgiveness. I was stupid and ignorant for not reaching out to you sooner. I was so afraid you'd reject me. Please forgive me.  
I can't promise you my safe return. But I will wish you good luck with the wedding. Tell everyone hi for me and I love you all.  
Love, Ed.

To: Edward Elric Region II - Camp 3 From: Winry Rockbell 273 Timber ln. Resembool May 25

Dear Ed,  
I'm glad you're okay. The wedding was beautiful. I wish you could have been there. As far as I know, Russell doesn't know about the ring. But I wouldn't be ashamed if he found it. I miss you too much to be ashamed of it.  
I wish so much that you were home again.  
You are not at all stupid or ignorant, Ed. And there's nothing to forgive you for. Every day I find myself trying not to cry when I think of you. It's wearing me out, thinking of you all the time. Russell's starting to worry about me. Alphonse can see it, too.  
Everyone says hi back, and they love you so much and wish you were safe and home again.  
I miss you so, so much, Ed.  
I love you.  
-Winry

To: Edward Elric Region II - Camp 3 From: Winry Rockbell 273 Timber ln. Resembool June 6

Dear Ed,  
I was wondering if my last letter got lost in the mail because you haven't written me back. Just in case, I've enclosed a copy.  
Please be safe. We all love you so much.  
Love, Winry.

To: Winry Rockbell 273 Timber ln. Resembool From: Roy Mustang Region II - Camp 3 June 14

Winry,  
I'm very sorry that I must inform you Ed has gone missing. We haven't found a body so we can't say for sure whether or not he's dead. I know the ishbalans do not take prisoners in this area, though.  
As of now we have only declared him M.I.A. (Missing In Action). We will only announce him dead if we do not find him alive by the time we deport three weeks from now. We have secured the region and our services are no longer needed.  
I send you my condolences, and I wish you well.  
Take care.  
Roy Mustang --

Winry couldn't look at it; it was a terrible sight. The black casket was being lowered into the ground, a military flag and hat laid across it in honor of Ed's service to the country. Russell wrapped an arm around her and allowed her to bury her face in his chest as she sobbed, though Russell's arms were the last place she wanted to be.  
Edward had never been found since he went missing in Ishbal. He and few others were declared dead the day they before they left the encampment. An empty casket was being buried under his headstone instead, next to his mother and granny Rockbell.

2 years later

The man meandered his way out of the station, gazing around in wonderment at how different it was since he'd last seen it. His freshly cut hair was hitched back in a simple ponytail and he wore new, itchy clothes. He walked away from the station and through the small town, smiling to himself at how it hadn't changed much. Trusting his memory, he took a path that eventually led to a long, dirt driveway. Atop the hill where it ended was a yellow house.  
"Winry." the man whispered, and quickened his step, till he was in a full run. He knocked on the door, almost out of breath, and waited.  
The door swung open.  
"I'm sorry, but the shop is closed for the weekend--" The man smiled. Winry hadn't changed at all. Though there was an air about her that seemed totally different, in a sense, she was exactly the same.  
"Winry?" He said breathlessly.  
"...Ed?" she whispered, looking close to tears. He gave a slight nod, and she pounced, wrapping her arms excitedly around his neck and nearly knocking him over. "Edward!! You're back, you're finally back!! I was so scared you were dead!! Oh, Ed!! I can't believe you're back!!" she exclaimed, tears streaming down her face.  
"I know, I know, Winry. I'm back. I'm so glad I finally get to see you"  
Winry invited him inside and fixed a cup of tea while he told her about the past two years.  
"I was taken prisoner," he explained. "I was one of the few who survived. When I finally escaped, I went to Xing. I stayed there for a year or so, and then tried to make my way back to Amestris. I met Fuhrer Mustang at East headquarters and I've been filling out paperwork for weeks"  
"Wait, so you've been in East city for weeks and didn't even bother to write me?!" Winry complained, pouring the tea.  
"Well, I really preferred to tell you in person, plus I couldn't remember your address"  
The blond girl shook her head. "It doesn't matter now. You're home. and You're safe"  
"Yea. I am." they shared a long embrace before finally picking up their tea.  
"So, where's Russell? Are you still together?" Ed asked, looking around the kitchen. Winry shook her head sadly.  
"After your funeral, things were rough. I couldn't even look at him without thinking of you. We filed for divorce six months after they announced you dead"  
"I'm sorry to hear that"  
"Don't be sorry. I'm glad it happened. And now you're here, and everything's... perfect." she smiled at him, eyes shining with tears.  
"Winry, do you still have that ring I gave you"  
She held up her right hand, the diamond sparkling on her ring finger. "I never took it off"  
Ed smiled and got up, kneeling next to her at the table. He took the ring from her right hand and slipped it onto her left, kissing the back of her hand gently.  
"Winry, I've wanted to ask you this question for years. First I was too scared, and then when I finally mustered up the courage, it was too late. So, even though it's two years later, I just wanted to ask you... Will you marry me, and be mine forever"  
Through her tears, she managed to choke out a tiny "Yes." 


End file.
